I’ll admit that when I learned that you asked my daughter if she wanted to know what the F word was, then told her even though she said no, I was livid.

How could any child believe it was okay to say that word to another child? To teach it to them. To whisper it in their ear even when they asked you not to. Maybe no one has taught you that no means no. If so, then let this be your first lesson.

When my daughter told me what you said, apologizing to me as though she had done something wrong, I ached for her. I wanted to protect my children and my family from your 8-year-old poison. I wanted to tell you that you were no longer welcome in our home.

Then I thought about what it must be like to live in your house, and I realized I was mostly sad. My anger turned to heartbreak for the childhood you have lost. And I ache for you.

I’m sad that you live in a home where loving words are replaced with the F word and yelling. That you hear this word regularly enough that you not only want to repeat it, but you need to gain attention by repeating it to others.

I’m sad that your innocence has been violated by the words you hear and the violence you see.

I’m sad that you feel you have to lie to make your life sound a little brighter.

I’m sad that you come to our home as an escape from “everyone always yelling” at your house, but I am grateful that you think our house is “just perfect”. It’s not by the way, but I know that in comparison, a home filled with peace and love is perfect.

Sweetheart, I want you to know that I pray for you. Every day. I pray for you every time we drive past your house. I pray that Jesus will shine over your life. I pray that angels will protect you. And I pray, though it may seem very contrary to what I feel, that our family will be a light to you.

You see, I still want to tell you not to come back. I want to tell you that you aren’t welcome here because you violated an important rule in our house. I want to close my eyes to your hurt and close my door to you.

But how could I teach my children to be like Jesus, who sought out the hurting and welcomed the sinners, if I am not willing to do the same. How could I be a light to you as a woman who loves God and is told to love like God? What example would I be?

I will never say what you did was okay. And I will continue to enforce the rules of our house. I don’t know what the future brings, but as long as you keep our rules right now, you, sweet girl, are welcome here.

While you are in my home, I will speak love and speak life into you. While you are in my home, I will show you what a loving marriage looks like. I will show you what a peaceful family sounds like. I will show you what the grace of God feels like.