In our family, the males outnumber the females. It’s just me and my daughter next to my husband and three sons. That means, our house is loud, chaotic, and kids are wrestling in some room of the house for most of their waking hours.

So as a mom, I try to do little things here and there to help my daughter feel special instead of feeling like she’s drowning in a sea of testosterone.

It’s harder than it sounds. (All parenting usually is, really!) With four kids who homeschool, plus a writing career and hand lettering business, there isn’t a lot of one-on-one quality time available with each child.

As my daughter became better at reading and writing, I noticed that she began writing little random, encouraging notes to my husband and me. We realized her love language was words of affirmation. (If you haven’t read The Five Love Languages of Children, then I highly recommend it.) Her notes were precious, little treasures. But I couldn’t keep track of them all.

Then I had an idea.

For her 8th birthday, I bought her a journal. Not a diary, she already had one of those. I bought her a special journal. One that was exclusively for me and her to write notes back and forth.

As she opened that gift, I described to her what this journal was for and her eyes lit up. Inside the front cover, I wrote the first of many letters between us.

I told her, any time I wrote her a note, she would find this journal laid on the pillow of her bed, waiting for her, and she could do the same for when she wanted to write me a note.

Neither of us could stop smiling, and by that night, she had already written a little note back to me.

It’s been two years since I gave her that journal. And the other night, I found it propped up on my pillow before I laid down for bed.

She and I had butted heads that day. Words were said that shouldn’t have been. Tears were shed…on my part at least. Apologies were given. I felt inadequate to be her teacher, her role model, maybe even her mother.

But when I entered my bedroom that night to see the journal waiting for me, all the bad feelings seeped away. And if I feel that way when I read through the journal, I know she does too.

I flipped through the two years worth of letters and notes we have written back and forth since her 8th birthday, and I smiled and cried simultaneously.

I thought of all the years and milestones she has in front of her, and how many notes we’ll write back and forth. How many mornings she’ll come home from a sleepover with a friend to find the journal lying on her pillow. In not too long, she’ll return from a date with a boy and she’ll see the journal and know that it holds an encouraging note about how strong she is and how she deserves to be treated well.

One day she may even come home from a break-up to find a new letter written that will begin to heal her hurting heart.

Maybe the night before her wedding, she’ll have a letter reminding her what a beautiful soul she is, how I have prayed for this day and this man she is being joined with.

And I will give her these journals to read through forever. Anytime she forgets who she is or where she came from, she can read them and know how I love her no matter what, in all ways. The words in this journal will be with her forever.

Can I encourage you to start this same practice with your children?

Especially if words of affirmation matter to your child. But even if they don’t seem very important, your encouraging, kind, and loving words will stick with them long after your child has left your presence.

They will remember those words written on paper, that might as well be written on their hearts.

If you decide to pick up this beautiful practice, I have a journal just for you! The Shook Nook is my hand lettering business where I create journals, cards and original poetry. This is the perfect journal for you to begin writing letters back and forth with your daughter.

Or you can click here to customize a journal with her name, a favorite short quote or scripture.

Whatever journal you use, I encourage you to begin this beautiful, affirming practice together. Let her know what she means to you and what you see in her, not only in your spoken words but also in writing to be read and remembered for years to come.

I’d love to hear your stories when you put this into practice. Take a picture and tag me on social media (Instagram|Facebook). I love encouraging other moms and women along our journeys so that we don’t ever feel alone!

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